Why is it so hard to market ourselves?

A few months ago, I found myself in an incredibly annoying situation: I needed to take my own advice.

Due to a hurricane of personal and professional factors, I decided to leave my full time position as Director of Marketing and start my own marketing practice.

I found myself having the same problem that clients across my career needed me to solve for them. I needed to put myself out there and market myself.

Can you hear me groaning from here?

I've counseled dozens of clients to put themselves out there. Being on the outside looking in, it's easy to spot the value a professional or business provides for their audience. But when you're in the thick of it... It's hard to see up from down.

The truth is: many of us find it incredibly hard to put ourselves out there and market ourselves, despite an almost-guarantee that you'll see positive results. I'm no exception.

Here's why we feel this way and what we can do to overcome this fear.

Neuroscience shows that your ego tries to protect itself.

If you want to put yourself out there to be successful, you have to battle your body's biological instinct to protect your ego.

Ego, which is the latin word for "I," is your conscience sense of self. It's the part of your personality that helps you perceive the world, stay grounded in reality, manage your emotions, and make good choices.

When your ego is balanced, you're accepting of your flaws, adaptable to change, and open to criticism. When it's not? You feel overly self critical, focused on approval from others, and unable to handle rejection.

Sound familiar?

"Your ego blocks you from the exact behaviors that creates success," says neuroscientist Emily McDonald. "Success requires failing, being judged, looking 'cringe'... and all of those things can threaten your identity [a.k.a.] ego."

What you're really afraid of is not being the person you thought you were.

Or not being accepted by the society we feel the biological need to fit into.

Many of us closely align our work with our identity as a whole. By tying those elements together, we need others to see our work to be valuable in order to see ourselves as valuable.

For many, gaining the courage to market ourselves requires deep inner change.

My journey into entrepreneurship over the past few months has put a spotlight on the things about myself I was desperate to ignore. Knowing how to market others in no way prepared me to market myself. To not only identify my unique value, but to truly believe it--in spite of the possibility that others may not.

If you want success, you have to battle your body's biological instinct to protect your ego. When you can kill the parts of your ego that have been preventing you from your new life, you'll notice a whole world of possibilities open up to you.

It will be deeply uncomfortable, but it will be worth it (in more ways than one).

I've only started this journey myself, but if you're reading this article...that must mean I've made some progress. And if I can do it, you can too.

How to move forward

First, start with the reason why you're putting yourself out there.

I'll give you a hint:

It's not because you want to make more money.

It's not because you want to be the center of attention.

It's not because you think you're the expert of all experts.

You're putting yourself out there for the same reason I published this article. Connection. Wasn't that the whole point of marketing in the first place? To connect you with the people looking for your services?

Second, focus on the value you provide to others.

Don't want to feel "cringey?" Make sure your marketing always focuses on the value you provide to others.

Having a hard time identifying what your value is? Let me give you another hint:

✔ You're doing this because your business provides a service that is genuinely helpful.

✔ You know things about your business that most people probably don't know.

✔ You can communicate ideas in a way people understand and enjoy.

✔ You are good at what you do and can solve a problem that people have.

Third, redirect your negative thoughts.

What if people judge me?

Guess what...they probably already are. Judgement is impossible to avoid in life whether you're marketing yourself or not. The good news is, you won't die from it and it's highly unlikely to affect your life in any tangible way.

Either way, your content doesn't have to be liked by everyone. It's an impossible standard, and an unfair one, to hold yourself to.

Your marketing only needs to reach the people who will connect with it, relate to it, and see the value in it. The others will just ignore you and that's okay.

What if I look stupid?

You wont because your marketing will be coming from an authentic place, be rooted in the real value you provide others, and will be feverishly inspected by you -- the badass professional whose instincts have brought you this far.

If you're really worried about it, ask people you trust to review your marketing content. I suggest at least one person in your field and one person outside of your field.

What if it doesn't work?

It doesn't mean you don't have value.

Remember, failure is an essential part of success. Every day, seasoned marketing specialists run campaigns that underperform. My advice to you is to go through this process rooted in curiosity. Sometimes to know what works, you have to rule out what doesn't.

You can always pivot.

If you start to feel that ping of doubt, it's most likely because your content you're putting out there doesn't feel like you. Take it as an opportunity to stop and go back to the basics. Reread this if you have to and remember to breathe. What you're struggling with is normal.

Don't let that annoying ego of yours keep you away from success. You deserve to be here.

What's the one thing holding you back from marketing yourself right now?

Let me know in the comments.

Feeling ready to put yourself out there?

LET'S DO IT TOGETHER